I have been struggling to connect in my marriage for the last year to the point of discussing divorce. In the mean time, I have been leaning heavily on a friend and confiding in him. Although it was unplanned and I have been honest with everyone, I feel terribly guilty, because strong romantic feelings are starting to develop with the friend. How shall I proceed here?
Hi LL, Sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing in your marriage. Regarding your question about developing romantic feelings for your friend, I do agree that the feelings are very likely reciprocated from your friend, of that I have no doubt. However, I do sense a red flag here and I feel like you may benefit from taking a step back and thinking about the effect this may have on your friendship with your friend as well as the potential repercussions it may have on your marriage and finding clarity on how to move forward.
Blessings LL, first of all, you should not feel guilty for your feelings, my love. I sense that your marriage has been over for quite some time before you started getting closer to Peter. At the same time, I feel that you may be relying too heavily on Peter, and he has become a strong crutch to you. The advice I am getting from your guide is that you need lots of 'me' time to think things carefully. And you can also start by being honest with everyone, and most of all, yourself.
You are in mourning. In your grief you have turned to a friend and become emotionally dependent on him. Tread carefully before pursuing anything serious with this man. It may lead to intense feelings of insecurity as you have not even yet processed why the last relationship is ending. I cannot stress enough the need to wait this out until the sorrow has passed and your affairs with your husband are squared. If when you are clearheaded you still want to be with this man, by all means go for it. However, now is not the right time.
Carefully! First you must decide what you REALLY want: to return to your marriage or to find someone NEW?
You have set yourself up for trouble from the beginning. Instead of discussing your problems with your husband, you went to this new man and now you are thinking he is an improvement on your husband. 4 of swords--don't do ANYTHING right of pentacles reversed--you are not even sure what to ask about this situation and 10 of Pentacles--you THINK you want to work it out with husband, So consider some counseling ASAP.