I can see that he loves you and that two of you have some kind of future but it depends on you. You have high expectations from that relationship and therefore you suffer too much. You need use your intuition over logic and you will found your happines. I also see some kind of material posessions that you are maybe holding too 'll need to sacrifice something in order to heal and be in that relationship again but you will not be alone. I see support from friends or 't lose your hope.

As far as I can see you are are overthinking things. It seems like you are manifesting very contradictory facets of your personality in this relationship: giving but also keeping some things under tight locks, knowing you should be patient but also trying to sneakily rush things. Make use of the strong connection between the two of you and communicate directly and honestly. Clarify whether the fear and guilt you mentioned is something he really feels or if it's a projection of your own . Don't overthink. The cards might show things but an honest dialogue will always be clearer.

What you feel is real, but what HE feels is real too. He obviously has some issues related to a past relationship or maybe to a current one (his guilt gets the better of him? What is that about?) I get the chariot reversed, he is not able to move on past whatever is holding him back. You can keep yo-yoing with him or decide to move on. if he ever gets his act together, he knows how to find you.