|Nationality||🇺🇸 United States|
Teacher of Arts & Methods
Job & Career
I came from a very rigidly religious upbringing, and through all of that, rather than depending on only what my minister father taught, I also depended on my intuition to get me through what I did not understand. When I was married, I suffered (and learned) through domestic violence. That is when I began to go back to my Hawaiian roots, and seek my answers and the comfort provided by my 'Aumakua (Ancestors).
Having lived through a difficult and abusive marriage that ended with my being estranged and then widowed, I lean these days on my Spiritual strength, my abilities and gifts as someone who was given the gift of Aloha, and a second sight that has not ever failed me, even as there were times that I felt that it did exactly that - fail me.
What I learned through those times was that no matter who told me what they thought of me, I always had me to depend on, as well as these things that I have done to quell the aching in my soul for a whole lot of years.
From all of those times in my life, even through the anger and the hurt, I still managed to love others enough to not want them to be as hurt as I was. As I got older, I chose to love others instead of judging them for what they might not have caused themselves.
The hardest thing to hear is someone close to you tell you that "you could have done things better" or "it is your fault - you could have left," and maybe you could not have done any of that, and all and only because you might or might not have realized, known or even believed that what you were hearing, in terms of what was going on, was your fault, because who would choose to harm themselves, and more, who would NOT try to get away from a bad situation, again and again, and NOT want at least one person who understands you there and ready to listen and ONLY listen?
I get it
I have been there
I have gotten out of that
I am now here to try to help other people sort things out for themselves, and to listen to the voice of the part of them that aches so badly from the things that have happened to them over the course of their lives.
I have been that person
I am here to listen, to advise, to hold space for those whose lives seem to have given them the biggest challenge of their lives which is returning to that place called wholeness.
What is not told to us ever is the accompanying thought to all of those ugly ones that we hear all of the time. In every sentence that our minds play over and over for us, there is an incomplete thought - it is yours to finish.
This is all I have known to do, for almost my entire adult life - figuring out how to rise above things that cut us like a knife in the deepest parts of ourselves, all the way down to "Na ʻiwi" - the Bones, particularly of the Soul within us each, and to train and name our demons so that they no longer hurt us, but rather strengthen and inspire us through the challenges.
All my life, the last thing that I recall wanting to deal with was what other people thought of me. When you are only given half the story (what they thought of you) without being taught or told how to complete the story, things in our lives, including our efforts towards turning things around, seem all for naught.
I am here to help, along with a lot of others, to hopefully give you some guidance on how you are feeling, and what is possible for you, through you
Domestic violence will teach you things about yourself that you never knew was there. For me, one of those things was learning to depend on my HIgher Self, on my ʻAumakua (Ancestors) and my desire to just be the best version of myself, no matter what kind of day I am having.
Since 2008, I have worked with countless others get through their days, through their nights, in email, in chat, on the phone - I have been that ear that listens, namely when it is a woman who is trying to rescue herself from something that no oneʻs parents EVER wants to hear that their child is experiencing - being abused by someone who does not know themselves enough to know that what they are doing to anyone else at all is causing great strife, emotional imbalance, and mental health issues that even surprises professional counselors.
I chose to become ordained in 2004, not really knowing that the reason was connected to all those things that I was told would send me to hell, throughout all my life, having been raised by my ministerial parents whose lives seemed to be built on their "right" to tell others that they were sinners, that the only way to get through this life was to banish who we are for real, and namely if it was against their teachings and interpretations of what they were preaching in their church. When I became confused about things, I did not turn to the Bible - I turned to my Astrology, and I turned to a deck of cards that, years later, I would finally know what to do with and would understand the story contained in the ones that I drew for myself. Given that my family, and even some of my friends, felt that it was okay to judge me as a sinner worse than they, I spent a whole lot of time by myself, a whole lot of time reading whatever I could get my hands on, dancing and teaching Hula the way that I felt it ought to have been taught - to heal ourselves, and never to show off.
It seemed that my lifeʻs story all those years, at least at those times, were meant for me to never forget what it was like to be born into a family of religious believers and that if I strayed outside of what they were too scared to be curious about, I was surely going to burn in Hell and that I deserved it.
Imagine being someone who did not know how to hurt others and mean to hurt them, and imagine being that person who was taught to live in the light of Aloha, only to have what was that interpretation of that word and that energy be thought of as "fake" be the thing that others told you about you, and then, imagine being the only one who knew the truth, about anything, only to be told that no matter what, no one will believe you?
It amplified for me the things that years later, even after my kids were born, every single thing that the person who abused me for a long time, even though I tried everything that I could, and everything that did not work, to get away from him. That was when it became clear that this man would be a teacher for me, in terms of a whole lot, but most of all, being the one who would come up with the way to get out.
It took a whole lot - of tears, of fighting with others just to be me. It took a lot more abuse from people who swore that it was only my best interest that they were looking after, that it was because they did not feel I would be able to get out to their liking, and that even after the fact, all of them are gone from my life, and some of them cannot figure out why I have not come running back to their lives, the very lot of [removed]
For all of my life, all I wanted was for other people to see me as me, and more, that I wanted them to also see themselves as who they are, rather than who they think they are. Who we think we are comes screaming at us in ways that we never imagined, and who we are supposed to be comes to us in even an ever harsher manner, and all because of the things that we believed were the truths of us as set forth by those who would rather see us be who they think we are rather than who we are for real as set forth by Spirit and your ʻĀumakua (ancestor).
So, here I am now, in my 50ʻs, and while I do not know everything there is to know about surviving trauma, I DO know what comfort it brings to have someone else - a stranger even - remind us that we are not what anyone else told us we are. We are here for a specific reason, and not one of us knows what that is. It ought to be our mission, though, to at least find out what it could be.
Because of my upbringing, and because I was the oddball in my group of friends, because I was the "weird" cousin who could read and write and liked books instead of television, because of who I am, and how important it is that we all know who we are and have a bit of guidance in terms of what we can do with what we have gone through, I choose in my everyday life to take those opportunities that can get me to those places, online or in the real, when it is that my specific brand of knowing is needed, and Spirit does NOT disappoint.
At this time, I meld all of what I do into one thing, and all for the purpose of helping others remember who they are, for real. I teach dance as medicine. I read cards and Astrology charts. I teach wellness as a certified personal trainer, mostly to others who have been traumatized by domestic abuse, childhood stuff, and not being able to figure things out for themselves, because someone else told them that they could not. I spend my time choreographing my hulas, and reading Tarot for my neighbors, many of them, themselves, still emotionally in the throes of what they have been through, trying hard to get some sort of light in what seems like an eternal darkness of addiction, of violence, of things that they probably never thought they would have to deal [removed] also never thought that I would have to deal with a familial pattern of ignoring abuse.
Instead of ignoring it, I chose to change that pattern, starting with myself and my children. I chose to take the abuse, the bullied child, the wife who was widowed long before he passed away, and turn it in to the Bravery that is needed to get through life as is, without the ugliness of others telling you that you are not enough or worse, that you might have deserved the abuse - no one deserves it. A heavy Karma is paid by those who think that others "get what they got because they were stupid and stayed" and really, it is not that easy to get out.
I got out, and now here I Am.
At this time, as I stated, I am working to help others remember who they are,authentically, before the world that is theirs and private began to crumble.
I remind them that before great structures are built, the ones in place must be seen to.
This is what I [removed] others to learn how to see to things
I use mostly Tarot, Astrology, My gift of Intuition, and every bit of organically had experience to help others gain some guidance.
I do not "warn" anyone of anything that "could" happen - I do not tell the future. I give light to what is going on in The Now.
I do not promise clients that if they do things the way that the cards say to do them, that all will be well and there wonʻt be anything more to worry about - I tell them the truth of what I see in the cards drawn and give them a bit of life coaching as well as things I am intuiting from my ʻĀumakua, and even THEIR Āumakuam to remind them that sometimes, what we are told by others is the only thing that we need to know, because always, even in untruths there are many truths to be had.
I do not tell DV victims or survivors the steps that I took to get out of my unique situation, because all of ours are unique. Even though what we each have experienced might be the same things physically, they are in different areas of life, meaning that sometimes, the cards that I draw might not be the solution, but a step in the solution that each of us has to create for ourselves. I do not tell other survivors the instructions to get out, because there is a lot of that already available. What I DO tell them is that I am here to listen, advise, and simply be someone there who totally understands what they are going through, because I have been in that same place. I have been in that fear, in that confusion, and in that feeling of desperation that we all have. It is not a desperation to make our abuser love us or let us go, because we all know that that will not happen. It is a desperation to recall what being truly safe feels like. Some of us might not even know what that looks or feels like, and I like believing that because I have been there, I can tell others those things, because I am there now and no longer scared of what the bad man can do to me, or these people who call me Mom.
But mostly, I do everything with Love, with Aloha, with the Truth.
I am an Ordained Minister, a Life Coach, a Title 9 reporter, and a Domestic Violence Advocate through my Ordination and mostly, through my experience
Tarot Readings - I do these via email, and it is a flat fee of 75.00. It takes me anywhere from a few moments to a day or two to get them all written out and delivered to you.
Astrology Readings - 75.00 and they are STRICTLY for self improvement and what kind of things you ought to be at least interested in , in terms of your job/work/career, who you are in your own life and how you might be able to think of things outside of the proverbial box.
Domestic Violence Spiritual Coaching is done over the course of weeks to months, includes Tarot readings, Astrology readings, and of course, my years of experience getting out alive and teaching others to do the same. For this, I require an email and chat consultation, so that I can get some insight as to where you have been, what you have been able to do for yourself in terms of surviving. I charge a "by session" rate for this service of 100.00, and sessions typically last between 60 minutes to 90 minutes each time.This also includes free membership to my Online Dance Healing Studio (it is not required, but I know that movement to music is some of the best ancient healing medicine we are still able to do )...for this one, please contact me first by sending me an email
(I also do Private spiritual coaching - please contact me via email for more information...Mahalo)
Please only leave a comment if you've had a consultancy from Roxanne Cottell